I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
