he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
