There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize