well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
