is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
