:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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