were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
