I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
