why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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