Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize