She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she peed on how many people?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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