i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize