She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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