The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
