why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
