i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize