He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
