you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
