My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
