Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
