i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize