And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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