I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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