It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
