your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
