i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
