I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
