Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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