If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
