You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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