you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
