I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
