The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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