I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
