We named our party play list daddy issues
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
