She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize