i think my tv is drunk
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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