Don't make out with my wife yet
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
