Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize