small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
