More tranny stories later!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
