I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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