just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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