it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
