Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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