my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
