Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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