I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
