The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
