As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
