i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
