Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
