This is not my ceiling
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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