Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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