Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
