you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
