i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I didn't notice because vodka
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
