my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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