so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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