I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
