For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
